You Wouldn't Have Listened Anyway.
“My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the LORD grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” (Proverbs 2:1-6)
Real MOMent
Recently, after an afternoon of shopping, my daughter asked if we could go to a local coffee shop to grab a drink that she had been and I quote “dying to try.” She had actually been asking to go for several weeks, but today, it seemed like the perfect way to wrap up our mother-daughter time!
The frappuccino that she ordered was Fall in a cup. The delicious frozen pumpkin and caramel drink was topped with whipped cream and, without a doubt, filled with a lot of sugar! A part of me wanted to pull off and tell her that I changed my mind but, instead, I agreed to order a small drink and advised her not to drink it all.
Later that evening, my daughter came downstairs and told me that her stomach was hurting. “Did you drink the entire drink?” I asked. “Yes,” she said. I explained that her stomach was probably hurting because of all of the sugar in the drink. “Why didn’t you tell me that if I drink it all, my stomach might hurt?” she asked me. To be honest, this question threw me off because the truth is, my daughter doesn’t receive feedback well or like to be corrected (which is trait that can show itself at any age).
As I considered how to answer her question, I thought about the past couple of months and how her typical and predictable response to all feedback is “I know.” So, in the spirit of truth and instruction I said, “you wouldn’t have listened anyway.”
As I turned to leave the kitchen, I told her that I was sorry that her stomach was hurting and that I hoped, in the future, she might be more open to instruction and feedback because I was only trying to help her learn.
MOMent of Clarity
I don’t like that my daughter didn't feel well, but I feel it was an unavoidable consequence that she had to experience. She wanted that drink and nothing I could have said would have resulted in a pleasant acceptance of the feedback because it wouldn't align with what she wanted. The truth is that sometimes we put ourselves into more difficult circumstances because we do not or will not listen. We convince ourselves that we know but, in truth, we have no clue.
This moment made me consider the times I have been too closed-minded and prideful to accept feedback and correction in my life. Not only from people who have had my best interest at heart, but from my Heavenly Father who created the plan for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11).
Trusting God with my life requires faith and confidence that will always be at odds against the world. ( 1 John 2:15). His discipline is love. ( Revelation 3:19).
My daughter’s stomachache wasn’t caused by the drink, but by her choice not to listen to my advice to not drink it all. Similarly, in life, many times we experience aches and pains that are results of our own choices and go against the counsel and wisdom of the LORD. Afterall, the LORD has placed people in our lives that can provide instruction and counsel ( Proverbs 12:15) and given us the help of the Holy Spirit and the Living Word to help direct our path. ( John 14:26 and 2 Timothy 3:16)
I can think of many times when I was so set in my ways, focused on the way I wanted to do something or how I thought something should be done, that correction and instruction would not have been helpful because I wouldn’t have listened anyway.
Our willingness to listen may not reduce the hardships of this life, but it may help to make them more bearable, especially when the advice and counsel we receive is from people who love and care for us. We are all different, but we are not alone. The wisdom one person can offer based on the trials of their life can be a blessing to someone who may be in a similar season. If a person is willing to listen, they may gain understanding through the perspective offered.
One day, my daughter may look back on this moment and recognize that it was a small ache in the big picture of life. I will continue to guide her and help her learn, but most importantly, I need to be an example and give her examples of how I listen in my life. Yes, not everyone’s advice will be the best and discernment is certainly key, but when I am listening to my Heavenly Father, failure does not exist and it will always be good. (2 Corinthians 1:7)
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