Just Like Mom
“A patient man has great understanding but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” Proverbs 14:29
Real MOMent
There is no mistake, my daughter is a daddy’s girl, at the tender age of 4. As one myself, I am happy that her dad is the apple of her eye just as mine is even today. However, from time to time, especially as she is getting older, I catch her modeling herself after me more and more. She is a gentle fireball, like her mom. My mini me in the making loves coming in my closet to try on my shoes. Her eyes light up whenever I put on a fancy dress. Even most recently when we completed her back-to-school board, when asked what she wanted to be when she grows up, her reply was “Mommy,” which created an instant smile on my face and heart. Knowing that I am one of the closest female influences for my daughter during this period in her life, I find myself being more conscious of a lot of things that I do, the words that I speak, and even the clothes that I wear.
During one of my daughter’s extracurricular activities around the end of last Spring, I experienced a very uncomfortable situation with the owner’s daughter that took place, thankfully, around adults only. Unfortunately, I was met with unexpected and unnecessary rudeness about a rule the owner’s daughter thought I had broken, but according to communications distributed that week I did not. When I tried to explain as the daughter (mid 20s) was not aware of the communication, my explanation was dismissed, and the public impoliteness continued. Unfortunately, I eventually responded in a way that semi matched her energy. Fast forward, at the start of the new, recent Fall season kick off, the owner (the mom) and I had an opportunity to revisit the details of that day back in the Spring that included my interaction with her daughter. While the discussion was great, there were certain points that resonated with me. The owner expressed that her daughter was the mirror image of herself back when she was her age, although admittedly the older version of herself is now a lot calmer. Even though we didn’t mention it, I am pretty sure the owner, who was ten years plus older than me, recognized that she and I were more alike than different. The discussion even ended with us hugging.
On the car ride home, I knew that I had just potentially met the ten-year plus older version of myself and was left in deep thought about what it might mean for my daughter, if that was true.
MOMent of Clarity
While it probably puts a smile on the face of every mom to have a daughter that is the younger version of herself, depending on what is modeled your children can pick up the good as well as the not so good versions of yourself. As the old saying goes, “children learn from what you do vs. what you say.” Ultimately, we are supposed to model ourselves like Jesus. While the Bible does recognize that we will be angry, this appears to be a theme of not leading quickly to that anger. Psalm 86:15 advises that we are to be “slow to anger.” While Ecclesiastes 7:9, reflects that we should not be “quickly provoked in your spirit for anger resides in the lap of fools”
I am Christian mom, but I am not a perfect mom. When thinking about my emotions, specifically anger, I realize at times I have given myself unwarranted grace or an unbiblical pass when it comes to retaliation of the mouth when I feel disrespected. There are times when I would have proudly worn the t-shirts that are advertised with the sayings “A little Hood and a little Holy” or “Pray with me with, Don’t play with me.” As I continue to grow in my relationship with God, I understand the importance of living like a Christian not only on Sunday. I am a firm believer of standing up for yourself when necessary. However, I also have to remember while doing so that I am representing the One who is standing with me.
While lessons on forgiveness are a biblical concept that we are all familiar with, at times, when we are met with confrontational situations, how we respond in the moment might be a long-lasting lesson vs. an apology that comes later after bad behavior or “energy that is semi matched.” Our response might be the only reflection of Christlike behavior a stranger might experience first hand. Also, as a mom (or someone who is influential to a younger child), I want my daughter to see my actions as something not only myself, but God would be proud of today and something she would be able to unapologetically model 10 or 20 years down the road. While I am a TRUE work in progress in this area, I am excited about this continued growth journey and looking forward to retiring the “Thou shall not try me – Mood 24:7” t-shirt.
 I am praising God for His signs of awareness of influence I potentially carry unknowingly. The eyes of children that watch us are not always the children you give birth to. Our influence in a child's life can be both intentional and unintentional. I was reminded of this in the smallest way by the actions of my friend's daughter (between the age of 9-12). During my college years, I got a tattoo of a rose on my foot. As I have had it for years, it is nothing that I advertise and in my eyes, it is just there. My friend's daughter drew a rose on her foot to resemble the one I have. While this was so small, the impact that her actions had on me were big. It was a reminder for me that the way I carry myself and the things that I do or have are noticed not only by my children, but also my friend's children, my god children, my sister's child, my neighbors, etc.  |
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 The "Apply" is for parents and others who have influence on a child. It is pretty simple. When you are around children monitor your words, think about your actions, be mindful of the conversations that are had in front of them and your actions when things do not go in a favorable way for you. We will make mistakes, because we are human. However, making an intentional effort to mold them into Kingdom Kids is something to strive for daily. |
 Dear God, Thank you for my growth and your patience with me while I continue to seek to be more like Christ. Please help me trust your guidance for all emotions including when I am angry. Please forgive me for times when I have not led with love or have not been slow to anger. Guide my actions and my words to be the best example of your kindness, forgiveness, and compassion to other people, especially to my children and those who look up to me. While I recognize I continue to mature in this area of my life, help me find grace for others who are not there yet. In moments when I am weak, I thank You for Your unwavering strength. In times of madness, I thank You for your calmness and clarity. In Your Son’s Name I pray, AMEN |
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