I'm Different
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations” Jeremiah 1:5
Real MOMent
If you are a mother or any adult that shares a responsibility for a child, you know that a big part of the job is sharing experiences on how to “handle” different situations and to teach them the way they should go. Based on sheer time spent on the Earth, life lessons are plentiful for an adult. However, our children still have a way to continue to teach us lessons, as at times, they become the teacher. A few months ago, my son took me back to school on the subject matter of acknowledging our differences.
My family was attending a family friendly gathering at a friend's house. The parents were in one area and the children had their own designated area. Occasionally, I would pop my head in just to make sure my children were doing good. During one of my check-ins, I was met by my son who was sitting alone on the stairs. Naturally, I asked why he was by himself and not with the other children. After he shared an incident that involved him and another child, I told him how I thought he should feel and even remembered using the words “most people” followed by a list of what I thought “most people” (really myself) would do in that situation. When I finished providing my feedback, my son looked up at me and replied matter of factly, “I’M DIFFERENT.” After a short pause, my response was simply – “You're right.” At that moment, I was glad his response (which was not inappropriate) was “different” than how “most people” (or again “myself”) would have responded.
After that exchange with my son, I started thinking about how in the age of social media EVERYONE can relate to comparing themselves to others, even if it is in the smallest ways. As holiday posts are upon us, thoughts of: Should I have taken Christmas pictures with my family? Are there enough lights on the Christmas tree? or Should I take my children to this place, like that person did ?- can quickly consume us. If the social media comparison bug has never bitten you, then you might be able to relate to other examples that I have experienced in the past with comparing. I remember with my first-born hearing other moms talk about at what point their children began to walk and leaving that conversation thinking to myself “Will my child start walking around the same point as theirs?” Even more recently, while watching the school videos from my toddler’s class, I thought to myself “Does she answer as many questions correctly as her classmates?” It is not just done by parents unintentionally, but also by outsiders. As a child, I can recall relatives comparing my two sisters to me on trivial items, such as the length of our hair. A few days ago, in a conversation with one of my girlfriends, she admitted to comparing the cleanliness of my car to hers, without even knowing that I had just gotten my car cleaned right before she saw it.
WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING!
For me, when we compare ourselves, our lifestyles, our Christmas activities list and especially our children, there is usually an underlying factor that we are not privy to.
MOMent of Clarity
When we make a comparison, the underlying factors are not always obvious or widely discussed. As a result, the reason for why we are different may not be seen as intentional. My son’s response was “different” than “most people” because he isn’t “most people.” It was an absolute PRAISE MOMENT to hear my child understand and proclaim his differences to me that day while we both sat on the stairs. If I want to teach my children that God calls Christians to be set apart (John 17:16-19) and not conform to the world (Romans 12:2), then comparing them to others (i.e. most people) or focusing on the actions of others is a direct contradiction for them and myself.
This clarity also made me realize that comparison can cause me to misdirect my children on a path that was meant for someone else. There are few references in the Bible that explain the spiritual gifts that are given to us by the Holy Spirit to help build up God’s kingdom (1 Corinthians 12:4-11). Our spiritual gifts and the path that God specifically crafted for us as individuals, must be taken into consideration. The potential result of comparing myself to someone who was given a different gift and path vs. focusing on my path and gifts could result in disappointments and setbacks in my life because I am basically working against how and where God wants ME to help build His Kingdom.
Even the slightest comparison to siblings by me as a parent applies here, as well. Admittedly, I have found myself saying “son your sister knows how to do this and she is much younger than you.” While that statement could be true and my intent for using it as a source of motivation, the comparison could negate to a child (and even an adult) that they are “wonderfully made” just the way they are.
Ultimately, if we truly believe that God’s true intention is for us to be different, then it has to reflect in the little MOMents that we encounter on a daily basis. While we can appreciate what we see other people doing, we do not have to think our lives are lacking because we are not doing the same thing or responding to a situation in the same way. If there is any comparison made, it should be in self reflection to how the Bible outlines us to live as brothers and sisters in Christ. Again, we are called to be set apart. As such, we might find ourselves one day in response to something or someone, matter of factly saying “I’m Different.”
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In the post, my PRAISE moment was connected to my son being able to communicate that he was “Different.” I am praising God that at his young age, he can acknowledge and boldly claim that he can't be compared to others. A follower of the Real Moms, Real Life, REALER CHRIST community sent this reel created by Hailey Julia after reading the latest blog post, so now sharing with you! This young lady provides a perfect overview of what comparison does and explains God’s truth! Hailey Julia on Comparison https://www.instagram.com/reel/CljumJ7D6Gv/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link |
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Reflecting on the following questions:
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Dear God, Thank you for making me, me. Thank you for crafting me with unique talents and spiritual gifts to help further build Your kingdom. At times, when I look at the outside world through the lens of social media or even in the small day to day interactions, please help me remember that the only true comparison that You honor is based on the example of love, mercy, and goodness that was presented through Your son, Jesus. Please help me look more at Jesus's life for the example of who I should be and the things that I should want and not like the world. Please help me teach my children the importance of loving themselves just the way that You made. Please help us remember at times when we have doubts about ourselves, that because of You, we are enough and any area that we lack, You make up for it. You and You alone. In Your Son’s Name we pray, AMEN |
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